Joy Is Wholistic
“What is this thing called joy, and how is it possible that it can evoke such a wide range of feelings? How can the experience of joy span from those tears of joy at a birth to an irrepressible belly laugh at a joke to a serenely contented smile during meditation? Joy seems to blanket this entire emotional expanse.”
– Douglas Abrams; The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World
As you practiced listening to how Joy speaks to you somatically over the past week, you may have noticed similar variety in your experience of Joy. You may have even noticed Joy existing alongside more difficult emotions like grief.
How is this possible?
Well, my friends, the true magic of Joy resides in its wholistic nature.
Joy does not ignore, dismiss, or minimize the suffering in the world. Joy does not push or force our pain to be anything other than what it is.
Instead, Joy invites. It invites us to connect and to take a broader perspective. It invites us to convert our pain and suffering into something that can feel lighter. In Joy, there is hope for new creation. In this way, Joy can become a powerful and necessary form of activism.
—
In The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu outline eight pillars of Joy. Four are defined as qualities of the mind: perspective, humility, humor, and acceptance. And four are defined as qualities of the heart: forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.
These eight pillars not only capture a broader experience but teach us how to turn Joy “from a fleeting feeling into a lasting way of being.”
—
Let’s take a closer look at each of these pillars in turn.
I’ve chosen one quote from The Book of Joy that I feel captures the essence of each. Maybe someday I’ll do a longer series these pillars… but for now, I want to offer a taste.
Perspective: “Changing the way we see the world in turn changes the way we feel and the way we act, which changes the world itself.” - Douglas Abrams
(In many ways, this perspective-taking skill is the foundation of coaching.)
Humility: “There is a Tibetan saying that wisdom is like rainwater – both gather in the low places. …So similarly if you remain humble, then there is the possibility to keep learning.” - the Dalai Lama
Humor: “Humor, like humility, comes from the same root word for humanity: humus [the Latin word for earth or soil]. … Is it any surprise that we have to have a sense of humility to be able to laugh at ourselves and that to laugh at ourselves reminds us of our shared humanity?” - Douglas Abrams
Acceptance: “We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.” - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Forgiveness: “Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailor. When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator.” - Archbishop Desmond Tutu (originally from The Book of Forgiving)
Gratitude: “[Gratitude] moves us away from the narrow-minded focus on fault and lack and to the wider perspective of benefit and abundance.” - Douglas Abrams
Compassion: “…while empathy is simply experiencing another’s emotion, compassion is a more empowered state... As the Dalai Lama has described it, if we see a person who is being crushed by a rock, the goal is not to get under the rock and feel what they are feeling; it is to help to remove the rock.” - Douglas Abrams
Generosity: “…there is a very physical example. The Dead Sea in the Middle East receives fresh water, but it has no outlet... It receives beautiful water from the rivers, and the water goes dank. …that’s why it is the Dead Sea. It receives and does not give. And we are made much that way too. I mean, we receive and we must give. In the end generosity is the best way of becoming more, more, and more joyful.” - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
—
A Call to Action
Consider how you might practice each of these pillars over the next week. Notice the impact each has on your overall experience and the creation of a more Joy-filled life.
