Be Both. There’s Power in Paradox.
“The world is full of nuance and it’s full of contradictions, and to me, that’s what it means to be human.”
– Guy Raz
I often feel torn between two seemingly contradictory sides of myself.
The analytical and the creative.
The pragmatic and the idealistic.
The side that trusts and the side that doubts.
The list goes on…
It’s only when I remember to give myself permission to be all of me - to risk seeming like a contradiction - that I’m able to identify and take steps towards the “big life” I’ve always dreamed about.
There’s so much power in paradox.
But we often think of paradox as some impossible needle to thread. Take America Ferrera’s viral monologue from the 2023 Barbie movie as an example. While there is certainly truth in her words regarding the cultural expectations placed on women, the power of paradox is not found in an effort to be everything at the behest of everyone else.
It’s found in bringing your whole self to your whole life.
In the book The Way of Integrity, Martha Beck reminds us that the word “integrity” comes from the same root as the word “integer” and refers to being one, whole, and undivided. So, a life lived in integrity is a life lived “united and aligned” with all parts of ourselves. It’s the art of crafting a life in which we get to be both…
…thinking AND feeling
…perfectionistic AND playful
…master AND beginner
…grateful AND ambitious
…committed AND detached
…courageous AND afraid
…curious AND confident
…the wallflower AND Whistledown (for the Bridgerton fans)
And where we get to embrace both…
…logic AND intuition
…effort AND ease
…patience AND urgency
Although the application can be tricky, this permission slip - this invitation to be both - is incredibly liberating. There’s baked in grace and fluidity which, in my experience, more accurately reflects the true human experience.
The intersection of these paradoxes was an underlying theme of a conversation I recently had with Ann de Passos and Kim van Niekerk on their podcast, The View Looks Good.
This was my first experience as a guest on a podcast and – speaking of seemingly contradictory emotions – I feel both humbled and proud to share it with you. We set out to discuss how our Ideas often feel like they’ve been there all along. And as Ann and Kim so eloquently describe in the show notes, ended up talking about “connection, abundance, and the gentle art of listening – to ourselves, to each other, and to the Ideas that come knocking.”
Whether or not your listen to our episode, I do hope you spend time this week embracing… or even just noodling on… the power of paradox.
And for a little extra inspiration, I’ll leave you with this excerpt from Harry Baker’s poem Wonderful:
“May you be seriously silly,
may you be wickedly kind.
May you be brilliantly dumb sometimes
and yet stupidly bright.
May you certainly have doubts,
may your weirdness be the norm.
May the coolest thing about you
be your warmth.
May you be powerfully vulnerable,
or at least mightily soft.
May you be a contradiction,
and yet at the same time not.
And, whether you are any, none
or all of the above,
above all, may you know
that you are loved.”
